4 comments on “Time Marches On…

  1. I can’t relate to the partner’s desires being the polar opposite of mine, but my husband and I experienced and early miscarriage in December and it was a bit difficult. It was our first month trying to conceive a sibling to pair with our almost 3-year-old and it seemed too good to true, and apparently it was. We are currently waiting on me to ovulate again (come on, Wednesday!). We are also only 27 and have only suffered one loss. I shouldn’t be saying “only” of quantifying our experiences, but it would appear you’ve gone through a lot of heartache trying to conceive. What do you think you’ll do?

  2. I’m sorry about the miscarriage. I’ve experienced that myself. Afterwards my hubby and I decided two was enough so he had a vasectomy. I wish you best of luck in whatever is decided.

  3. I’m so sorry for the miscarriage. And that you’re having such a hard time. I’m going to send a friend over here who’s gone through something similar. Maybe she can shine some light on the subject.

    As for the little ones growing up, I know it’s hard. I stop in the hallway and look at pictures on the wall and get sad every once in a while. It goes so fast. But I can tell you that at 8 and 10, they may be different than they were at 5, but they’re still amazing. And actually more fun.

  4. I have this issue on and off, regularly. My husband is totally done with having kids, but I must admit that if he said he wanted one more, I would do it in a heartbeat. I cannot imagine what 7 miscarriages would do to ones mental state, as me having one was utterly difficult. I have found that when I find contentment with my life as it is now, I don’t long for another baby. When I am not content with my life, that is when I do want another baby. I have two healthy happy children. I have a boy and a girl. They are both old enough that I can have a life of my own, and be a part of theirs which is a wonderful thing to be able to have. My daughter is in 3rd grade, she is my oldest. My son is in preschool, starting kindergarten in the fall. Being an attentive, active parent is incredibly difficult and it gets even more difficult as the kids get older. Getting both of them to school on time, making lunches, picking up from school, doing homework, practicing piano, karate lessons, and keeping a house is a full time job. But then I also do hair, which adds to the things I need to do. I do want another child, but when I truly think about my life and how busy it is now, I have to remind myself of how busy it will be when both of my kids are in elementary school with homework. With just two, my life is crazy. I cannot imagine being an attentive, engaged parent if I had another child. Some women can do it, but I cannot. It is something I have to remind myself of regularly.

    I’m sure this is of no help to you, but I understood where you were coming from as I have gone through periods of really wanting another child, and feeling resentment at my husband for not wanting another one as well. I felt resentment that my womb was totally up to him, which made me want a baby even more.

    Good luck with your decision. I know it is tough, and I hope you and your husband can find peace in whatever decision you make.

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