secular

All posts tagged secular

Easter Entertainment

Posted by AtheistMom on April 9, 2012
Posted in: Other, Parenting, Religion. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . 11 comments

Well, it happened. Just like I knew it would. Except it was worse than I had imagined and I felt more uncomfortable than I might have predicted.

For the past few weeks, Paisley has been asking me a lot about religion and prayer. It all started when she asked why her Grandpa prays before eating. We explained to her that some people thank God before they eat. We told her that some people believe in God, and some people don’t. When asked what God was we replied that he  was a man who lives in the sky and takes care of you. I thought that was an age appropriate way to explain a complicated (and let’s be honest – confusing) concept. Ever since then she has been asking more questions. I explained that I used to believe in God but that after looking at the evidence I decided that I didn’t any more. Which led to a conversation about evidence. We talked about believing in flying ducks versus flying pigs. I went through each example, offering evidence for and against each claim. At the end of our conversation she stated that “I don’t believe in a man in the sky or that pigs can fly.” I had a bad feeling about going to see the in-laws for Easter dinner.

My hubby and I debated about whether we should preempt her by telling her not to say anything about God. We decided against it, mainly because I rail against the practice of religion being treated with kid gloves. I don’t want to introduce the idea that religion is any different than any other subject – ask questions, think for yourself, speak freely. So we didn’t and I knew, I just knew she was going to say something.

So, we are sitting down about to eat lunch and Grandpa decides to lead us in prayer. (As a sidenote, leading “us” in prayer really means leading the minority of the people at the table in prayer which feels a bit weird, but whatever, their house,) Paisley listens with eyes wide open and then proceeds to make her way around the table telling each person that “there is NO man in the sky.” When I tried to quietly tell her to sit and eat, she yelled “I have to tell the people who believe in God that there is no man in the sky.” Wow. Grandma was pissed but everyone else just ignored her. She kept persisting, long after it was uncomfortable and my husband eventually distracted her and changed the subject. When we sat down to pray for Easter dinner though, she started again and said “But I don’t believe in G -” before both my husband and I shooshed her. Nobody said anything to us about it (his family believes in evading the elephant in the room almost as much as they do the restoration of the one true church – thank goodness) but it was tense.

My husband found the whole thing hilarious but I don’t deal with that stuff as well as he does (which is funny because typically he tends to be more reserved and rigid and I’m more apt to flaunt convention). As much as I try, I can’t handle verbal conflict. I have a hard time being direct and saying what I mean when what I mean is hurtful or uncomfortable. At the same time, I am proud that we are raising our kids in a secular household. I never want my kids to feel like they can’t ask questions or that they need to be embarrassed about their beliefs and I have been second-guessing myself ever since we left. Did I handle that right? Should we have said something to either explain or defend her? Was shooshing her the wrong thing to do? It’s hard because my in-laws have been pretty careful not to raise or push their religion on us and while everyone knows that we aren’t Mormon, it’s not something we talk about. I find it hard to strike a balance between respecting others and allowing the kids to be themselves.

My favourite part? When Grandma didn’t quite catch what my daughter had said and yelled, “What?! There is a snowman in the sky?” Don’t worry – Paisley set her straight.

 

 

 

Christopher Hitchens: 1949 – 2011

Posted by AtheistMom on December 17, 2011
Posted in: Other. Tagged: , , , , , , , . 7 comments

We all knew he was dying. For the past few weeks I have thought about him for that split second before I turned on the radio or computer and wondered. I sent him a letter, two actually, in the weeks before he died – thousands of people did. We all wanted him to know that he had changed our lives, made us a little braver, a little less afraid and a lot more certain that we weren’t alone in our non-belief. Despite all that, I felt so sad when I heard.

For me, Christopher Hitchens made the arguments I felt but could never articulate. His way with words often left me in awe. How could someone think so clearly, rationally and linearly and then describe his thoughts so powerfully?!  He was passionate, incredibly prolific and a powerful advocate for rational thought. Some people found him to acerbic, confrontational and controversial. I loved him, even when I disagreed with him. I get tired, in this day and age of political correctness, of people mincing words. If you have an opinion, fight for it. If you have the gift of language that Hitch had, you use it. When you see something so absurdly wrong about the world, you change it.

Hitchens was a humanitarian in the truest sense of the word. He aspired for greatness for all of us, for everyone. He wanted us to rise above our base superstitions and fears and long-expired wisdoms and think for ourselves. He saw religion and dogma and theocracy for what they are – shackles on humanity. Dogmatic thought (whether religious or otherwise) keeps us from reaching our potential for creativity, happiness and kindness. He knew we could be better, even when faced with evidence to the contrary. No wonder he sometimes seemed so angry.

He was a voice for atheists everywhere. He, along with his neo-atheist counterparts, made being an atheist something to be proud of. He made being religious look silly and infantile. He cut through all the bullshit and held a mirror up to religion and the religious – this is what your book says, this is how you act, this is what you claim to believe and this is what you’ve done to the world. It was not a pretty image. Nobody wanted to see it.

Christopher Hitchens was a giant and all I can hope for is that his memory will live on and make all of us aim to articulate a little better, think a little harder and feel proud of the fact that we used our brains to come to a conclusion that we aren’t afraid or embarrassed of. We are atheists and we are fortunate to have kept company with one truly great man. May he live on in reason.

“The only position that leaves me with no cognitive dissonance is atheism. It is not a creed. Death is certain, replacing both the siren-song of Paradise and the dread of Hell. Life on this earth, with all its mystery and beauty and pain, is then to be lived far more intensely: we stumble and get up, we are sad, confident, insecure, feel loneliness and joy and love. There is nothing more; but I want nothing more.”
― Christopher Hitchens, The Portable Atheist: Essential Readings for the Non-believer

Japan

Posted by AtheistMom on March 11, 2011
Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: , , , . 2 comments

After the news this morning about the horrendous earthquake and tsunami in Japan I can’t help but think about the people there and what they must be going through. I have visited Japan twice and absolutely loved it. It’s one of those places I could go to again and again (and often do, only these days it’s in my own imagination. Sigh.) I found the videos coming out of Japan so telling and reflective of the people and way of life there. People were calm and orderly. There was not a lot of screaming or crying. For the most part they evacuated as they had practiced doing a hundred times before, made sure the people they were with were safe and waited for further information/instruction.

I can’t help but attribute at least some of this to the fact that Japan is a secular nation. I understand that there are many cultural reasons why this is true but even those cultural reasons are shaped by a secular history. Nobody was running around screaming that God was punishing them or that Armageddon was upon them. Nobody will be holding placards urging fellow citizens to repent come tomorrow morning. They will not pray for deliverance – they will, as a nation, brush themselves off and get to work. They will use science and technology to analyze what happened and make preparations for a similar disaster down the road. They will re-build and they will mourn those who were lost. But they will not wonder what they did to “deserve” such suffering. They will not point fingers and find fault with atheists, lesbians or intellectuals. They know the only “fault” is the one that runs directly beneath their island and they will treat it as the natural reality that it is.

Alone?

Posted by AtheistMom on April 7, 2010
Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: , , , . 5 comments

Loneliness is a basic human emotion. It is biologically implanted in order to keep us in packs. Living in tribes, communities, protecting one another and ensuring the survival of our offspring. It is also what drives most people to religion. I have had a few comments lately (yes, I do read them all!) expressing gratitude for reminding them that they are not alone.

It makes me sad and frustrated because the lack of support and community is the secular world’s biggest failure. There are so many of us out there – so many atheists and not-so-sures who want to feel a part of something but don’t want to abandon their faculties to do it. We are a community of skeptics and rationalists and good moral people who can learn from one another, and gain strength from one another and affect change in the world. We just don’t have our shit together quite yet.

Liberally minded people tend not to feel as strongly about things. The very nature of our thought process means we don’t believe in forcing others to think like us. It limits our ability to recruit and form a cohesive group. The internet has obviously made that easier but for many people, the warmth that comes from sitting and talking with someone who shares your values and understands who you are, cannot be matched by a computer screen.

Come out of the closet. Tell the people around you that you are an atheist – I promise you that some of your friends, co-workers, neighbours and even family members are also atheists, or at the very least, unsure. You just don’t know it yet. Spend time thinking about your own journey to atheism so that when asked you can give a quick, convincing yet friendly synopsis. It’s not easy but it needs to be done. Many people don’t think they even know an atheist – let them know they not only know one, that they like one and hey, even love one!

And for those of you who read this blog – you are not alone. Even if there is no bearded man in the sky watching over you today, there are millions of people in this world who respect, understand, and share your world view. Help us turn this whisper into a roar.

Secular Sundays

Posted by AtheistMom on September 22, 2009
Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: , , , . 2 comments

In the US there are still many little places where the stores close on Sundays but Canada’s last holdout (Nova Scotia) succumbed to the secular Sunday this past year. While of course it is still a choice for an individual store owner whether they open or not, it is no longer legislated that they cannot remain open on Sundays. Of course, as a secularist I support this but I do wonder if we are throwing the baby out with the  bath water.

In our house we want Sundays to remain a special day. The day will not be devoted to church or to god in any way but we hope to make it a day of peace and reflection. For us this will mean getting outside in nature. Being outside always makes me feel pensive and it gives me an opportunity to take stock and breathe. To prepare for the next week, to wonder aloud, what life is for and how we are going to live it. While I hesitate to use the word spirituality because of its  supernatural connotations, I think it is important that we make time for that quiet part of us that can be drowned out by busy, loud lives.

My perfect secular Sunday would start off with a cooked breakfast and the opportunity to relax and read the newspaper or do a crossword while having a cup of coffee. Then we would go for a long hike in the mountains or walk in the park and hold hands, and laugh, and pick up leaves, and ask questions and talk. Our minds and our bodies would get some exercise. In the afternoon we would have a roast dinner of some kind. The day would be computer and work free. We could listen to music or play a board game and just enjoy being together.

Sundays might have been the only thing that religion ever got right.

What does your perfect “Secular Sunday” look like? Do you think its even necessary to make special time for self-exploration and quiet reflection?