Posts Tagged mission
On a Mission…
Well, today is the day. My little brother-in-law left for the MTC (Missionary Training Centre) at 4:30 this morning and after 9 weeks of intense Spanish language training he will be dispatched to his mission in northern Arizona. Sigh.
In the end we decided not to say anything to him about his mission. We told him we loved him and that we would miss him. We told him he would do well and that is was an opportunity to grow. All of these things are true and yet, so much was left unsaid. Like, you would grow just as much by going to University or travelling the world. You will likely discover great things within you and despite what you believe, they will not be revealed by the holy spirit but by exercise, a life of routine and regimen and challenging yourself.
My husband still feels that his mission was a positive experience overall. He lived in France for 2 years and learned to speak fluent French. He became a great negotiator and public speaker and learned things about himself and about humanity more generally. He thrived in the almost military approach to schedule and exercise. They woke up at 6:00 every morning, lifted weights and prayed. They worked from morning until night and read scriptures. And then they did it again…for more than 700 days. He couldn’t see movies or listen to any music other than the tabernacle choir. He couldn’t read any books other than the approved missionary library that consisted of five church books. He was never alone. He went every where with his church appointed companion and ate what he could afford, which wasn’t much. He was encouraged to journal every day but like most things in the church, even that wasn’t really an exercise in individuality. Everything he wrote was filtered so that later generations would never hear of any doubts, stumbles or struggles. A big boring book of testimony.
But, he travelled and grew and made wonderful friends and learned about his strengths and weaknesses. He was challenged and directed and on his own for the first time in his life so I suppose I can see the appeal.
After much thought and consideration we decided to just be kind and supportive. My little brother is so excited and feels good about himself. He is heading off on his own for the first time ever and this is a very vulnerable point in his life. He came to our house for dinner the week before he left and we had a wonderful time. He is smart and thoughtful and in my opinion, too bright to stay a church member.
After he left I said to my husband, “Do you think he’ll leave on his own?” to which my husband replied, “Nope. I’m going to help him.”
Let’s hope that is exactly what happens.
Add comment March 4, 2010
Love the sinner, hate the sin?
I’ve always thought the Christian motto of “love the sinner, hate the sin” to be a load of codswallup. How do you “love” someone while standing in judgment of them?
More recently though, I have found myself holding a similar motto in my mind as I navigate life with my little brother -in-law. He has recently been called to his mission (Arizona, spanish speaking) and everyone in the family is overjoyed. Except us. We are trying to walk the thin line of supporting him while not supporting his choice. He is so excited for this big adventure, and while we like th idea of him travelling and learning another language and want to help him financially and be there for him at this time of his life, we can’t support the reason he is going.
My husband has flip-flopped on whether or not to talk to him about any of this and we still haven’t completely decided. On one hand, we don’t want to put a damper on what is an otherwise exciting time in his life. At the same time, he is going to be challenged relentlessly for the next two years so he might as well get used to it.
Missions are well-designed in the sense that many young boys (and girls) really find themselves while they are away. My little bro will likely lose the weight he needs to lose, find discipline, structure and a sense of accomplishment he’s never had before. He will be welcomed and applauded every Sunday in church and will work harder than he’s ever had to, all in the name of God. Our fear is that we know he will attribute all of these positive things to the mission itself as opposed to the structure and regular exercise it brings.
Hubby wants to talk to him about that and a few other things he himself experienced on his mission so that when they happen, the seed of doubt has already been planted. When the church tells him certain things that go directly against what he sees in the world (for example, that only church member are truly happy…just ignore the smiling Dad with his baby girl on his shoulders, eating ice cream in the park. He’s not really happy) he will have already been primed to see the inconsistency.
What we are more inclined to do however, is to just shut up, give him a hug and a $100 and send him on his way. There is going to be a lot of tongue biting between now and March.
1 comment October 11, 2009
mission impossible?
My little brother-in-law has recently turned in his mission papers. That means that in a few months he will get his mission call and he will be gone for the next two years. Your mission is something that most boys prepare for for their whole lives. I have seen books geared to toddlers talking about “When I go on my mission…” It is a huge deal – it separates the “good” mormons from the “bad” for the rest of their lives (“Where did you serve your mission?” is often the first question asked by mormons upon meeting another male mormon), and many young women are looking exclusively for a RM (returned missionary) to marry. I won’t get into the details of a mission and what it entails in this post – suffice it to say that it is strict, long and focused entirely on baptizing as many people as possible.
My husband is grappling about whether he should say something to his brother before he goes. We have always been very hands off about the church and don’t really discuss it with the kid brother and sister because we want to be respectful (even though we technically aren’t because we think they are in a cult) and maintain the peace. But, now little bro is about to embark on a two year service mission where he is going to get laughed at and countered almost every day so my husband thinks that talking to him can’t be much worse. He wants to plant the seed so that he sees the things we want him to see: the fact that people outside of the church live happy, content lives, the fact that outside Southern Alberta and Utah, the mormons aren’t as important or as present as they claim to be (the church highly exaggerates both its membership numbers and its impact) and that a lot of his mission will be a numbers game. Get ‘em in, get ‘em counted, even if they don’t really know what they are signing up for. We want him to have something to think about so that he might, just might, give some credence to the objections that he hears while he is away.
Missions seem to have one of two effects on people; they either come back Super-Morm or leave the church all together. We would really prefer the latter and just aren’t sure how to go about it. We aren’t the only interested party waging war over this young man’s fertile mind. And while they have billions of dollars, years of brain washing and an entrenched political wing on their side, we have the truth.
1 comment May 25, 2009
