A Medical Miracle

Posted by AtheistMom on March 8, 2011
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We received a frantic phone call on Friday night from my MIL informing us that my little BIL (who is serving his mission in Arizona) “blew out his knee” and might have to be released from his missionary duties in order to come home and recuperate. She was upset for a few reasons; she is a mother and of course, she wasn’t able to speak to her son directly, she was surprised and didn’t have all the information she wanted and above all, she was upset about his mission experience being  jeopardized. My BIL is loving his mission experience so far and part of the appeal for missionaries and their families is that it is such a long stretch. Two years is a long time to do anything consistently. It is a long time to not see loved ones, only talk to them on the phone 4 times and to commit yourself as a servant of the Lord. Doing the time is part of what makes it such a huge deal, so cutting it in half would have been very upsetting for everyone involved.

My MIL wasn’t totally sure what had happened but was told by the missionary President’s wife (who apparently is responsible for keeping other Mother’s informed of their kid’s accidents/injuries etc.) that they would call back on Monday with more information. There was much concern and worry and discussion about what this would mean.

We called today only to be referred to an email that she had forwarded to us. Basically, my BIL is the proud recipient of a genuine miracle of God. You can only imagine my frustration upon hearing his version of events. He hurt his knee playing soccer and knew right away it was bad. They took him to a doctor who felt it and told him that he thought he may have torn his MCL and to stay off of it for the next few days until he could get an MRI. The bishop came and did a blessing on BIL’s knee. The pain did not subside and it was still pretty bad. On Monday the Bishop came and did another blessing after which my BIL’s knee started to feel a bit better. At the very least, he felt better. When they got the results back from the MRI it showed  a small tear in the MCL but there is no need for surgery and his mission won’t be affected. I could hardly stomach reading the email as he launched into his testimony and assurances that he has re-committed himself with even more fervor into bringing the Gospel to the people and that he knows this and that is true and how blessed he is to have been a witness to the glory and power of God’s miraculous love. Blah, blah, blah.

Here is what I would like to say but will not:

1. Your first doctor? Yeah, he misdiagnosed your knee. Not difficult to do when you’re just feeling around someone’s inflamed joint.

2. If the blessing was so effective, why did it take two of them?

3. Maybe the looseness that you attribute to a torn ligament was just loose ligaments that tightened up after you followed the doctor’s suggestions to ice and rest your knee.

4. And perhaps my biggest complaint with all claims of miraculous healing…who do you think you are?! Let me get this straight. This omnipotent and benevolent God who has the power to heal the sick and dying skips over the truly needy only to fix your knee? While you were receiving a priesthood blessing in Arizona, countless women were cradling dying infants and children in their arms, begging and pleading for their lives. Terminally ill people begged for mercy. Innocent babies lay in the dirt, listless from starvation and dehydration. By morning, thousands of people have died painful, agonizing and wholly undeserved deaths but God fixed your knee. Are you kidding me? This to me is the height of egotism.

I thought about saying something but this boy has drunk bathed in the kool-aid and is now handing out free samples, so he’s beyond reasonable debate at this point.

Infinite Virginity (What a cool name for a band)…

Posted by AtheistMom on January 27, 2011
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Familiarity with your own religion (or at the least, the one you were raised in) often immunizes you from recognizing how weird it is. When I first met my husband I recall thinking “Mormons believe some really weird stuff! How can anyone with half a brain believe this!?” Then he asked me if I believed in transubstantiation and the ever-virgin Mary.  The answer was that no, I didn’t and that furthermore, I didn’t know that as a Catholic I was even supposed to! The fact that I didn’t believe in half the things the Catholic church taught was actually one of the things that made me start questioning my faith. As soon as I started to see my own religion from the same distance as all the other ones, it ceased to hold any real significance for me. I quite happily threw the baby out with the bath water.

The ever-Virgin Mary was always a strange concept to me and one that I had given a lot of thought to. So, when I heard an author on the radio not too long ago, talking about sex and the bible I was very interested. His point was that in the Catholic church, it is believed that each human is born with original sin. This is why it was necessary for Jesus to have been born of a virgin, so that he was not tainted by this sin. It is also why Mary was forced to remain a virgin, so that she could remain a saint and sinless forever. Except, there is a problem. For Mary to her herself remain sinless, she too must have been born of a virgin. Uh oh. This is where the whole thing starts to unravel. (To be fair, anyone with a heart beat should recognize the absurdity of the ever-virgin claim before we get to this point, but I digress.) So was Mary’s mother also a virgin? And her mother and so on? Nobody ever gets into that because theological muddy waters are best avoided if you want to keep up the ruse.

Poor, poor Mary and Joseph. Born of a virgin-mother and a sexually frustrated father, forced to remain chaste and endure the death of her only (only?! that’s a whole other post) son on a stick in the desert, and wife to a very bitter man who must have been on the receiving end of a lot of jokes. And all for the love of a non-existent God and beatification by a sexually perverted church. Not much of a life is it? Better to have never existed at all.  :)

Dancing With Death

Posted by AtheistMom on January 24, 2011
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One of the things I love most about reading other people’s blogs is that you get the opportunity to enter a whole new world. A completely different life, in another part of the planet, with a different point of view. I have a handful of blogs that I’ve been reading for years and one of them is Girl’s Gone Child. Rebecca isn’t wildly political or a baking savant – she is an intelligent, very hip Mom in the Los Angeles area who I happen to agree with on a lot of things. She is a little more ethereal in her approach to life than I probably am, but I find it refreshing. I love her little family and her little life and her closet full of clothes that I love on her but would never wear. One of the things I love about Rebecca (other than her poetic prose) is the amount of thought and consideration she gives to her parenting. Being a mother is a big, sometimes scary but always important job and too many people take it for granted and do it by default.

This most recent post by GGC got me thinking about death and what we tell our children about it. Death is as much a part of life as living and while I have always been sure I wouldn’t tell my kid some made up story about heaven and seeing their long-lost grandparents in the clouds, I would be lying if I said it was a conversation I am looking forward to. Reading Rebecca’s post however, made me feel a bit differently. Especially the part where she says that most people hold off talking about death to young people until they can understand it. I had never really thought how ridiculous that is. Nobody understands death. Why would kids be less capable than grown ups of wrestling with those very big ideas. If anything, they may have some very valuable insight  – they haven’t learned yet to be afraid of death. To avoid thinking about it and dwelling on it until someone close to them dies and it is thrust into their life with fury. That’s no way to be introduced to death.

When it comes time to talk to my daughter about death, I want to treat it with the attention and respect it deserves. I don’t want to lie and I don’t want her to feel confused. She may feel afraid but at the very least, I want her to know that we can talk about it. That like other important subjects (sex, life, our bodies etc.) it is not off the table. I will tell her about heaven and what some people believe and I will tell her what I believe. Ultimately, the choice will be hers.

What conversations have you had with your children about death? What is your philosophy about death, dying and children?

Two Peas in a Pod

Posted by AtheistMom on January 20, 2011
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The Mormons have recently released a series of ads depicting “average Americans” who are also Mormons. They aren’t really average Mormons at all but that’s besides the point. The idea behind the commercials is to make Mormons feel less alien and to normalize the religion in America. It is still tainted (for good reason) by cultish associations and polygamy and it is doing its damnedest to appear like any other religion in America.Here’s an example of one of the (gazillion) videos:

Which makes this recent ad campaign by the Scientologists even better:

Oh the irony – the sweet, sweet irony. In an attempt to normalize themselves, the Mormons have associated themselves with Scientology of all things. I love it.

Also, while you are in a video-watching mood, check out this awesome response campaign at iamanexmormon.com. Genius.

Atheist Mom M.D.?

Posted by AtheistMom on January 16, 2011
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For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a doctor. Not because of the money or the prestige but because I really, truly am fascinated by medicine and the human body. I studied biology in school and couldn’t get enough of it. I studied neuroscience in University and found it inspiring and fascinating. And then, I sort of lost my way.

I did okay in University but not as well as I should have. I smoked a lot of weed. Partly because I like having fun and I was young and getting high was, well,  fun. Also because it calmed me and made the constant noise of my ever-churning brain a little easier to handle. I actually set out at one point to make myself a little dumber. I thought life would be easier that way. I lost motivation to become a doctor and at some point, put that long-held dream on a shelf (along with my far less realistic hope of becoming an olympic volleyball player). I decided instead to combine my love of science and writing and pursue a Master’s in Journalism. I thought that way I could inspire others and provide the average person with a deeper understanding and greater appreciation for science and the natural world. It didn’t take me long to realize that I wasn’t going to change the world and I became jaded about the state of journalism in general, never mind scientific journalism.

I got engaged. I went to work in Korea. I travelled the world. My husband got into law school and so we headed home so he could pursue his career and I could work to support us. The dream of being a doctor never disappeared. It festered and would come to the surface every once and awhile. I felt like a failure. I felt good that I was doing well in my job and that my writing was supporting us during otherwise lean times, but I knew I had lost a part of myself in the journey. Every time I went to a hospital I felt sick with sadness and bitterness. When I met other people my age who were in medical school I felt fiercely envious. My husband knew this and it would come up from time to time but always, it was unrealistic.

Before long I had come to terms (sort of) with the fact that I had missed my chance. I was getting older. I was horrible at organic chemistry and always had been. Calculus left me even more stumped. We were in student debt up to our ears. I was bound to fail, even if I did try. I became a mother and decided to stay at home. We bought a house that came with a nice big yard and an even bigger mortgage. My life long dream of becoming a doctor was just that, a dream. And that dream was dead.

And then one day a few months ago, I had what Oprah might call a “lightbulb moment”. (Jeez, I can’t believe I just used an Oprah-ism.) My dream was only over if I let it be over. Too old? What does that mean exactly? I will be forty in seven years whether I go to medical school or not. So I can be 40 and still bitter or I can make this happen. As an atheist I am fully aware that this life is the only chance I have. If I don’t do this, it won’t happen. Ever. And ever is a very long time.

There were a lot of tears and many conversations with my husbands. There were even more conversations with myself. “Are you nuts?” You are nearly 33 years old and expecting another baby!” “You can’t do this! Oh, yes I can. No, really, you can’t. Can I?!” And so on and so on. My husband has been nothing but supportive. He asked me very simply, “If we were to have a conversation when we are 80 years old – would not trying to go to medical school be your big regret?” And I answered that yes, it most certainly would. (barring no major screw-ups from here on in. :) “Well than you need to do this. Let’s make it happen.” Can’t ask for better than that.

So, here I am today. Still scared and totally unconvinced that this will actually happen. But I am studying for my MCAT and for me, that has always been the biggest (and unfortunately, the first) challenge. I am scared shitless of this test. I am not good at math and really bad at mental rotation and conceptual chemistry. But I jumped into the deep end and although many study sessions involve tears, followed by renewed determination, followed by another round of defeatism and tears I feel like I have made the commitment to myself at the very least. I might write the test and bomb it. I might ace it and decide that I am happy having conquered that demon and leave it at that. We’ll see, but for now it feels good to be in a place where the excuses and past failures are behind me and all I have is a dream. It’s a very nice thing to have.

Where Do Babies Come From?

Posted by AtheistMom on January 8, 2011
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For most people, this is a simple enough question. We know how babies are conceived but if you believe in a soul, then the questions becomes a lot more complicated. This question lies at the root of many pro-life/pro-choice debates as well as the many different religious stances on sexuality, birth control, AIDS, and homosexuality. Your take on this question informs your belief in humanity and the essence which separates us from all other creations.

If you’re Mormon, it’s even more complicated. The Mormons believe in the premortal existence. A place where all the little souls of all the babies to be born are hanging out with God. (In the strictest sense, most religions believe in a pre-existence of the soul before it enters human form but surprise, surprise, nobody has made it as weird and convoluted as the Mormons). They also believe in three composite aspects of the human form; spirit, body and intelligence. Intelligence is a common human essence that is put into a spirit body which is then turned into a physical body. So, souls are not just souls, they are spirit bodies with their own intelligence. Still with me?

Unlike so many other religions that just let non-sensical doctrine stand, Mormons take the bold step of trying to explain this one step further. This is where they lead us into crazy land. So, the Mormons believe that since all these spirit body’s are around, they too must have been created. And how did they get created? Why, the same way physical bodies are conceived. So, now we have the Heavenly Father up in the sky with the Heavenly Mother and their infinite spirit body offspring. This is one of those things that makes non-Mormons go “Whu!?” because it is so against what many other Christian religions teach. The introduction of a heavenly mother who co-created each of us is viewed as blasphemous by many and another example of how the Mormons are not truly Christians.

“Jesus, however, is the firstborn among all the sons of God—the first begotten in the spirit, and the only begotten in the flesh. He is our elder brother, and we, like Him, are in the image of God. All men and women are in the similitude of the universal Father and Mother, and are literally the sons and daughters of Deity.” MFP 4:203.

(As a point of interest, the Mormons also believe that there are spiritual tests and challenges in the pre-mortal existence that will inform your later position in life. These learning opportunities are discussed in “councils in heaven” – a sort of department meeting between uncountable spirit bodies and the big honcho, Daddy God. Up until fairly recently (1978) Mormons believed that people were marked with dark skin for being fence-sitters in the pre-mortal existence, in the War in Heaven. Religion is like the Rabbit Hole in Alice in Wonderland – the deeper you go, the weirder it gets.)

The idea of the Heavenly Mother is part of the doctrine of eternal progression. Ooooh, you’re going to love this one. So, the church basically believes that the Heavenly Mother and Father were themselves once spirit children who received a physical body and were then rewarded for their good behaviour by being given a universe of their own. They were begotten from a Heavenly Mother and Father, who also had their own universe. And so on, and so on. This one (obviously) gets murky and the church has made great efforts to distance themselves from this, at least publicly. This is true for many reasons, the most obvious being because the whole idea is insane. It also goes directly against the teachings of the Bible by implying that there is not one God by many Gods and that each of us (if you are a man of course!) can one day hope to be rewarded with a planet and Godhood. It destroys its own basic principle of the eternal family (hard to all be hanging out together when each male is off being a God to his own universe) and leaves the church out there in the same realm as Scientologists and Raeliens. Even some Mormons seem unaware of this doctrine, despite it being a fundamental plank in their Plan of Salvation.

Deciding how many children you want to have is a personal and sometimes difficult decision. My husband and I talk about it a lot and neither one of us is ure how many we want. There are so many factors to consider – the kind of family you want to have, how much money you have, how easy/hard pregnancy is on your body and how hard baby’s are on your marriage. As a Mormon, a third party enters the debate. God. Yup, you have to pray and reflect on whether there are more babies already destined for your family, hanging out in spirit land just waiting for this one chance to receive a physical body and realize their eternal destiny. No pressure there. My SIL has gone against the direct advice of Doctors and had more babies – all because she had received a revelation that there were more spirit babies waiting for her. (Her pregnancies make her sick, sick, sick for the entire nine months and risk her life every time. She has nearly died with three out of four births and I’m not convinced she’s finished.)

So there you have it in a nutshell. Where babies come from. That is, if you are part of a very weird religion. Everyone else just has sex.

The Good News

Posted by AtheistMom on January 4, 2011
Posted in: Uncategorized. 4 comments

Here is some way overdue news – I’m pregnant! In the past 4 months or so, our little family found out we were getting a little bit bigger, bought a new house, moved and embarked on kitchen renovations. Full kitchen renovations like you see on TV – at one point I had a large sledgehammer in my hands. And I used it. With gusto.

As renovations tend to, things took longer than originally planned and our project butted right up against Christmas. We were washing dishes in the bathtub (scratch that – I was washing dishes in the bathtub), making toast in the bathroom and living in complete chaos. In the midst of this I was put on bedrest, developed sciatica, and still had to put together a Christmas for a very excited nearly-three-year-old girl. No wonder I wasn’t blogging – nobody would have appreciated the poison that might have spewed from this lady!

But today I sit here in my 98% completed kitchen (before and after pictures to come), with Christmas behind me, feeling physically and emotionally much better.

The baby is due in April and I am feeling great. Now that the kicks have become more regular (and intense – yowzaa!) I feel really excited to meet this little guy. That’s right, I said guy. :) His big sister is over the moon and despite some touchy spots along the way, baby will be born into a loving marriage. ;) (Renovations are not good for my relationship…or maybe anyone’s lol).

So there we have it – Atheist Mom is back and bigger than ever.

New Year!

Posted by AtheistMom on January 2, 2011
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I have always been a big believer in new beginnings. Anyone who has made the choice to leave a church, lifestyle or belief system behind knows that big changes can bring about new life. So, it would make sense then that I have also always loved New Years and the chance to make resolutions. Now, don’t get me wrong – I think if there are important changes in your life to make, you probably shouldn’t wait for January 1st to implement them, but there is something inspiring about a shiny, blank page full of opportunity.

This year one of my goals has been to make blogging more of a priority. Me and about 3.5 million other people probably! I haven’t committed to an every day post but I will certainly try to post at least once and hopefully a few times a week.

In reading some of the comments I get from readers, I am often reminded why I started this blog in the first place. There are so many of us out there – nice, good people who happen to also be atheists (or agnostics). We are often misunderstood and so many of us feel alone. We want to raise our children to be free thinkers who are capable of analyzing the information and the world around them using critical thought, compassion, context and creativity. We want their world to be a place full of excitement and adventure and awe at what lies before them naturally – without the need to invent crazy stories, or moral conundrums, or guilt or anti-scientific rhetoric. We value truth and humanity. We are atheist moms, and here at least, we are among friends. :)

Here’s to a wonderful 2011!

Sick…

Posted by AtheistMom on October 27, 2010
Posted in: Uncategorized. 2 comments

My little sister (in-law)  has an eating disorder. She has had an eating disorder for probably 4 or 5 years and she’s not even 20. In my husband’s family, things like that are really discussed openly. (Just like nobody mentioned the gay brother for years or the fact that the kids are leaving the Mormon church in droves.) So I took a cue from them and watched it get worse. We all sat there smiling at Christmas dinner when she would disappear after eating and come back 20 minutes later with a stick of gum in her mouth. We neglected to comment on her ever-thinning frame. It didn’t feel right to me and it bugged me to stand by but at the time I didn’t feel like it was really my place. I regret that decision immensely now. I should have said something, I should have at least started a conversation so that when she was ready to talk about it, it would be easier.

SIL went to BYU (Brigham Young University) Idaho (formerly Rick’s College, my husband’s first college too incidentally) for her first semester and did incredibly well. She’s a smart cookie and a kindred spirit and although BYU would not have been my first choice for her (the craziness that is that institution is worthy of a whole post), I was happy that she was getting away and getting at least some of the experiences that college life can bring. At the beginning of this semester I got a call and she told me she was coming home to get treatment for her eating disorder. I was surprised to hear her talk about it so openly and so very proud of her for taking such a huge step. She left her apartment and her friends and came home. She has been applying to do a study-program abroad in London and told me she wanted to get this sorted before she went. I talked to her at length about the subject and told her what a huge step she had taken. She told me that it was interfering with her life and she needed to fix this. She was committed and determined and I told her I would help her find the right program. We offered to let her stay with us and do anything we could to facilitate this journey.

Fast forward a month and half. She has done nothing. She sits at home, alone, in a house full of junk-food, waiting to leave for London in January. The word frustrated doesn’t even begin to describe how my husband and I feel about the situation and we can’t help but blame religion a little bit. Because she lives in a small Mormon town, she went to see a small-town Mormon doctor. (Despite her other brother’s requests that she see someone in a larger centre that she won’t bump into at church on Sunday.) That Mormon doctor, in keeping with her father’s medical tendencies, put her on antidepressants. I think she may also be seeing a church-counsellor. The programs we were looking at for her were top of the line, in-patient programs that offer the resources she needs. Instead, she gets put on Prozac and sent home. She’s not depressed (not even a little bit) – she is sick.

It’s the same old thing. Why listen to the psychologist brother or the neuroscientist brother or the well-informed sister when you can listen to your uneducated mother and your church authorities? This eating disorder started in the house she is living in now. With a mother who suggested she try Weight Watchers when she was eleven. Who only a few months ago sent her bulemic daughter a package containing a pound of candy and 5 dozen cookies. It’s insane. It’s unhealthy and it is the last place she needs to be to fix this problem. We have seen this so many times – the easy way out, the mistrust of experts outside of the church, the over-reliance on church doctors, leaders etc. It’s self-limiting and at times it can be downright dangerous.

So now we have a young girl, out of school with nothing to do, living with an enabling (and equally unhealthy) mother about to embark on a journey to the U.K. with her books, her excitement and a very heavy mental issue in tow.

I get so tired of watching things unravel and having no power to fix it. The fact that we aren’t in the church makes everything we say dismissable. No matter how evidence-based or true it may be. This time though, it’s serious.

Guess who’s back? Back again?

Posted by AtheistMom on October 26, 2010
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Wow. So it has been a long time, no? My apologies to anyone who presumed me dead. I guess I just got caught up in life I suppose. I took a break from wrtiting for work and my personal writing sort of trickled to non-existence as well. Will have to stay on top of that.

What can I tell you?

How about an update on the last post. I didn’t really push the issue beyond what I have already written about. I opened the door to that conversation and for now, that’s good enough. He is doing well out in the field and even though I cringe everytime I get an email littered with terms like “prospect”, “truth-seeker” or “living the gospel” , I am morbidly obsessed with hearing about his experiences. I’m like an addict. :)

 

Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

Posted by AtheistMom on July 4, 2010
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I was interested to read some of the comments to my recent post On a Mission. I thought my approach was very tempered and a good way to open a dialogue. Nothing feels less comfortable to me than never addressing a major issue. I know there are times to address it and ways to approach things respectfully and lightly but never? Never, ever? That just feels wrong. So while I appreciate the idea that I should just leave things alone and the sentiment behind it, that ain’t me. I feel too strongly about this to just sit back and watch someone I care about become a morg. :)

The good news is, I got a great response from my BIL. I didn’t really think he would take it badly but I guess you never really know until you try. I won’t repeat verbatim what he wrote because I feel like that would be bad form but basically he agreed with me that credit should be given to doctors, technology, science etc. but that crediting God is also important because for many, it really is their faith that keeps them going. Fair enough I suppose.

He maintains that he has seen prayer at work (and gave me an example of a woman in his mission who has been trying to get pregnant and only a week after receiving a priesthood blessing, found out she was expecting. Oh, and the missionary correctly predicted it would be a girl) and that it is the greatest outward expression of inner faith. He wasn’t the least bit offended and so I am happy that I have started a discussion at the very least.

It is too easy for myths and stereotypes about atheists to persist when we fail to identify ourselves as such. So, in my reply to his email, I thanked him for his response and told him I thought it was well-considered and respectful (which it was) and that as an atheist, prayer is likely not something we will ever agree on but that there is always value in trying to understand the people you love. Baby steps.

The example of “prayer in action” that he gave me is so typical and so pervasive. To be able to see the example for what it is requires a lot; an acceptance of true coincidence, an understanding of basic statistics and probability, an appreciation for the human brain to create what it wants (“If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail” – Mark Twain) and the maturity to recognize that a lot of stories, are just down right lies. How do you effectively deconstruct this example in a way someone of faith can grasp where you are coming from? I mean, I know that there is only one way to end a drought (whether it be of the moisture or the baby variety) and so a prediction like that will almost always be true with time. I know that there are only two options for a baby and that predicting it’s a girl is not statistically relevant – not even close. I know that people tend to count the hits and ignore the misses and that it’s just as likely that the missionary told her she was going to get pregnant several times before she actually did, or that the story was revised to be even more faith-promoting with each repetition. I know that by no means does this example prove that prayer works and yet, for some, it does.

I feel lucky to have a strong background in science and I credit that largely for my atheism. I studied neuroscience with some very impressive people with wicked minds and an almost universal lack of belief in God. I learned how to think, deconstruct, spot the faulty assumption or premise and apply the scientific method to the world around me. It is not realistic to think that everyone could (or would want to) have that kind of experience. So, how do you teach basic critical thinking to young people in a way that isn’t threatening?

This could be a whole other post, but I’m a big believer that this should be taught to every student in the world. At least it would be a start.

Will keep you updated on BIL.

Babes…

Posted by AtheistMom on June 24, 2010
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Often in the mornings, my husband will bring our daughter into the bed if I am still asleep. Most days she proceeds to poke me, prod me, yell “Wake up Mama!” into my face and generally bug me until I get out of bed. On lucky days, she will lie beside me and cuddle with me for awhile. I wake slowly but happy to have her next to me. We chat, she kisses me and we sing or play little word games. Yesterday, hubby put her on his side of the bed and when I rolled over to look at her sweet angelic face, she said “I need some sex Mama.”

Thinking I might still be half asleep and clearly mishearing her, I said: “What!?”

“I need some sex right now Mama!”

I didn’t even know what to say. I was thinking to myself “How does she know what that is? Where did she hear that? What am I supposed to say to that!?”
Then she clarified. “Mama, my feet are like ice. I need some sex!”

Oh. Socks. No problem.

On a Mission…

Posted by AtheistMom on May 22, 2010
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Here is an excerpt from a recent email I wrote to my little brother-in-law who is serving his mission in Mesa, Arizona:

I saw the video of the LDS woman who was in a plane crash and survived. It was a very moving story and that woman was very brave and obviously very strong. It did raise a question however that I have had for some time. I hope you are okay with me asking you a religious question – I figured now that you are a missionary you probably get asked difficult questions all the time. You are an intelligent person and someone who I know thinks about things very deeply so I am hoping you can give me some insight. My question doesn’t pertain to the Mormon religion per se, but to faith in general. In the video, I was disturbed by the part where the woman credited her survival to God and prayer. I watched the video only a few days after my experience in hospital and had been thinking about this already. In fact, it has always bugged me. I remember when 12 miners were rescued years ago in Pennsylvania, people crying and saying they were saved by prayer and by God. While rescue workers who had risked life and limb stood by. I think of all the doctors who worked on that poor lady in the video, and all the amazing science and technology that went into saving her life. The nurses, the physiotherapists, not to mention her own inner strength and perseverance. I find it so frustrating and difficult to understand.

Many people say that faith is not something that can be measured or tested. That is true. However, certain things can be measured. One of those things is prayer. It’s a simple thing really; pray for 100 people, don’t pray for the other 100 and see what happens. You can have control groups and measurable outcomes. It’s been studied and tested hundreds of times over, by those of faith and those without, in many different countries and there has never been a measurable difference. While prayers certainly brings peace to those offering them, it doesn’t actually increase the odds of the sick or injured getting better. Now, what has been proven to work is medicine. Time and time again people are saved by medicine and technology and doctors, and yet, many people of faith insist of crediting prayer when things go well (and God’s will when they don’t, but that is a whole other story) rather than thanking the people who actually deserve it.

Anyway – I don’t mean to go off on a tangent. I saw that video, and it was fresh in my mind and I know you are religious and also smart and so I naturally thought to ask you. I truly hope that you don’t feel offended or put off in any way and if you don’t feel comfortable addressing my question, than by all means just ignore me. :) Having said that, I would really like to know what you think about this. I guess, to summarize, the question would be: why insist on crediting God, when there are so many more obvious and tangible people who deserve recognition?

Now for those of you who are seasoned rational thinkers or atheists this email might seem very mild. There were a million other points I could make – I could tear his world asunder if I wanted to. The thing is, he’s an awesome kid and we have never talked about religion. Ever. Nobody in my husband’s family discusses it at all. We all just tip toe around the fact that they are Mormon and we are not. I hate it but it’s hard to engage people in a conversation when they are unwilling. So, I decided that this topic was safe. It isn’t specific to Mormons, it hopefully won’t be perceived as a personal attack, and it might just get him to think a little. Since this is my first attempt at a religious conversation, I have no idea what to expect.

I asked my husband how he thought my BIL would take it and he said he didn’t have a clue. When my husband told T (my BIL who was 16 at the time) that he was never coming back to the church, T cried like a little kid. Full on bawling for an hour. This kid is not a crier and actually pretty reasonable, level-headed and unemotional. Ever since then, my husband feels like he has little insight into his younger brother which leaves me out on my own. So, I sent him the email and I guess I’ll wait and see what he says. I’ll keep you posted.

Oh, and please check out the video. Sad story of course but another example of how incredibly awesome the church is at marketing, communications and spin. I’m in awe.

Right Round, Right Round

Posted by AtheistMom on May 8, 2010
Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: , , , . Leave a Comment

An excerpt from a recent comment:

“When I see even the smallest creature even a one celled organism I just can’t help but see the work of God. Without every part working together in unison these creatures just couldn’t survive. Just look under a telescope. Explain to me also how in evolution creatures that need oxygen to survive just happen to come along in a place that has plants to produce that oxygen? How we just got lucky enough to be not one degree closer or farther from the sun so we want freeze or burn to death? Explain how DNA just accidently came about?”

First of all – thank you for your comment. I always appreciate people of faith who are willing to at least read blogs written by atheists. While I know that I am not going to change your mind, I appreciate that you want to share your perspective. I hope I never come across as being dismissive or haughty when it comes to these questions.

In philosophy, there is a term for an argument that assumes the preposition within the premise – circulus in probando – or, circular reasoning. In this case, you believe in God, and so you see reasons to believe in God. It is not that the organs work together so that the creature can survive, it is that the creature survives because the organs work together. The same can be said for the levels of oxygen on our planet. The levels are not perfectly designed to maintain life. Life exists because the levels of oxygen allowed it to exist. For millions of years the levels of oxygen on earth were not what they are today, and life did not emerge.

For a non scientific analogy, lets say Bob lives in California and happens to be looking for a new job. He picks up the Kansas City Star one day only to see his dream job posted in the Careers section. Bob decides to move to Kansas in order to take the job. Now, most people recognize that Bob moved for the job. It is pretty clear that the job was not created because Bob moved to Kansas. In the case of Bob, and many natural wonders, we are here because of them, they are not here because of us. It is an easy mistake to make, especially when religions teach us that we are created by God and chosen as special among all creatures.

We are alive because the earth is perfectly located in relation to the sun, and we are alive because RNA evolved into DNA and acts as it does to preserve and pass on our genetic information. There are plenty of dead ends in the evolutionary tree to show what happens when life becomes ill-suited to its environment.

Just as the people of Copernicus’ time had to face the fact that the Earth is not the centre of the universe, today we must accept that we are not at the centre of the Earth.