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Happy New Year!
Okay, so as you may have guessed (or perhaps not by my late arrival to 2012), that this blog and you, my readers, make up a big chunk of my resolutions for this year. I need to get my shit together and write more often and more regularly. It’s not that I don’t have things to say, I just struggle to find the time to say them. Sometimes I wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night with a post in my head but I just can’t leave the warm bed to sit down and write. Especially when I’m sleep deprived as it is. At any rate – bear with me. I’m here and 2012 is going to be a good year.
I’m not usually a big fan of these viral “fill in the blank” thingys, but I found this one at nothingbutbonfires (a favourite of mine if only because I have started to just travel vicariously through its writer. Sigh. Kids and being broke have seriously damaged my travel cred ) so here goes nothing:
1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Umm, I gave birth to a boy. I moved to a new little town. I ran 9 miles (all at once!). I watched one of my brothers get married. I would like to say that I got myself into the full splits since this has been on my list of New Year’s resolutions for 6 or 7 years now but alas, 2011 was not the year.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Please see above. As far as my other resolutions go, yes, I kept most of the ones I can remember. (Isn’t that convenient?) I tried to get outside every day. I lost the baby weight. I worked to be a better wife and Mom. I tried to get down on the floor at least once a day and play with Paisley. I tried to say “Not right now – I’m busy” as little as possible. I made a bunch of new recipes.We made a huge change in order to improve our quality of life and I feel pretty good about that.
What I did not do was write as much as I had wanted, take as many pictures as I wanted and as previously mentioned, get down into the splits.
I am a resolution junkie. I make them every year and the list is usually exhaustive and unrealistic. It leaves little room for error or the realities of life with kids. Example: I will wake at 5:30 every morning and go for a run before sitting down with a coffee to write. When writing I will devote the first 30 minutes to my blog and the next half hour to the novel that I am sure is lurking deep within me. Yeah. Tthat very quickly turns into me stumbling out of bed at 7:30 after being roused for the third time by an incessantly hungry baby and a preschooler who insists that “my tummy is telling me I’m hungry and it’s YELLING!” and barely managing to have a coherent conversation with my husband before he abandons me head off for work. I don’t care what anyone says, exhaustion does not breed inspiration.
And yet – I’ll do it again. Cuz a girls gotta dream.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
I did. It doesn’t get any closer than that.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Thankfully, no. I was pretty sad about Hitch but I obviously didn’t know him personally.
5. What countries did you visit?
Oh piss off. I remember when I could actually answer that question with a straight face.
6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Money, time and energy. Now that we are out of the newborn stage I am pretty sure I will have the latter two. As for money, that remains to be seen. I am thinking of picking up some part time work but I haven’t quite figured out what that looks like yet. Maybe I could combine my life-long goal of getting into the splits with a lucrative internet business?
7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
April 23 – Declan was born. October 15th – my youngest brother was married. September 13th – we took possession of our new place. In December we went to see “Q” live with Jian Ghomeshi and it rocked my world.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Making the decision to move, pulling the trigger and doing it well (i.e. without killing each other, losing a kid or getting divorced) is the one thing I am most proud of. We were caught in the rat race and knew that we weren’t living our “authentic” lives. So many people live their lives by default and that is one thing that we have always tried to avoid. We made an opportunity and we took it and our lives are so much better for it. Every morning when I wake up in this house, in this cute little town and I have coffee with my husband before he heads down the street to his office I think, “Holy shit do I love it here.” That’s a good feeling.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Probably not writing here as much as I would like. And dare we mention the splits once more?
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
The pregnancy was touch and go for a while and Declan was a twin until we lost one at 6 weeks. Oh, and I had a c-section but other than that, not really.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
A house.
12. Where did most of your money go?
Who knows? Mortgage, bills…the usual. I will say that moving is very expensive and I won’t be doing that again in a hurry.
13. What did you get really excited about?
I got excited about our new family and having a little boy to get to know. I got excited about our new life in a new town. I got excited that Mad Men was coming back. And then it was over again before I knew it and then I got excited about it coming back again. Oh, and let us not forget, jeggings.
14. What song will always remind you of 2011?
I don’t know. I thing “Like a G6″ will definitely remind of this period in my life, if not this year specifically. Paisley loves it and calls it her “dancy song”. I smile every time I hear it.
15. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder? Thinner or fatter? Richer or poorer?
Happier, much happier. About the same. Poorer.
16. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Write. Travel. Sleep.
17. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Worry. Spend mindless hours on the internet.
18. How did you spend Christmas?
We stayed close to home this year and spent time hanging out with friends and family. I fussed too much and did too much but other than that it was really nice.
19. What was your favorite TV program?
Mad Men. Entourage. Gossip Girl. Pretty Little Liars. And I’m trying to like PanAm…I’m really trying.
20. What were your favorite books of the year?
Oh wow. I read a lot so to be honest I can’t even remember what I read. I know I loved The Colony of Unrequited Dreams (Wayne Johnston) and Freedom by Jonathan Franzen.
21. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I planned a big party and then a few days before, remembered I was pregnant and tired and cancelled it. Instead I went out for a quiet dinner with my husband and celebrated my 33rd birthday as lamely as possible.
22. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Winning the lottery? Eating more seafood. Hiring a personal masseuse.
23. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
“Wear whatever you find lying around until you lose the baby weight and even then, ensure that any item of clothing purchased is comfortable, stain-resistant and cheap.” Result? New Year’s resolution of “Be a hip mama” left unmet. Again.
24. What kept you sane?
My husband. My kids. Exercise.The few hours I managed to get to myself. Writing. Early nights. Bubble baths.
25. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
Living an authentic life is the only way to be happy. Don’t check to see if the baby is poopy by slipping your finger into the diaper.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
So, this year? I’m running a half marathon, blogging regularly, making a point of trying to be present and appreciateive of my daily life and I’m going to try to learn to be more assertive. And if I can find time, I’ll take over the world. Oh, and do the splits.
Christopher Hitchens: 1949 – 2011
We all knew he was dying. For the past few weeks I have thought about him for that split second before I turned on the radio or computer and wondered. I sent him a letter, two actually, in the weeks before he died – thousands of people did. We all wanted him to know that he had changed our lives, made us a little braver, a little less afraid and a lot more certain that we weren’t alone in our non-belief. Despite all that, I felt so sad when I heard.
For me, Christopher Hitchens made the arguments I felt but could never articulate. His way with words often left me in awe. How could someone think so clearly, rationally and linearly and then describe his thoughts so powerfully?! He was passionate, incredibly prolific and a powerful advocate for rational thought. Some people found him to acerbic, confrontational and controversial. I loved him, even when I disagreed with him. I get tired, in this day and age of political correctness, of people mincing words. If you have an opinion, fight for it. If you have the gift of language that Hitch had, you use it. When you see something so absurdly wrong about the world, you change it.
Hitchens was a humanitarian in the truest sense of the word. He aspired for greatness for all of us, for everyone. He wanted us to rise above our base superstitions and fears and long-expired wisdoms and think for ourselves. He saw religion and dogma and theocracy for what they are – shackles on humanity. Dogmatic thought (whether religious or otherwise) keeps us from reaching our potential for creativity, happiness and kindness. He knew we could be better, even when faced with evidence to the contrary. No wonder he sometimes seemed so angry.
He was a voice for atheists everywhere. He, along with his neo-atheist counterparts, made being an atheist something to be proud of. He made being religious look silly and infantile. He cut through all the bullshit and held a mirror up to religion and the religious – this is what your book says, this is how you act, this is what you claim to believe and this is what you’ve done to the world. It was not a pretty image. Nobody wanted to see it.
Christopher Hitchens was a giant and all I can hope for is that his memory will live on and make all of us aim to articulate a little better, think a little harder and feel proud of the fact that we used our brains to come to a conclusion that we aren’t afraid or embarrassed of. We are atheists and we are fortunate to have kept company with one truly great man. May he live on in reason.
“The only position that leaves me with no cognitive dissonance is atheism. It is not a creed. Death is certain, replacing both the siren-song of Paradise and the dread of Hell. Life on this earth, with all its mystery and beauty and pain, is then to be lived far more intensely: we stumble and get up, we are sad, confident, insecure, feel loneliness and joy and love. There is nothing more; but I want nothing more.”
― Christopher Hitchens, The Portable Atheist: Essential Readings for the Non-believer
Parenting Beyond Belief
I get a lot of emails and comments from parents who are recently “out of the closet” atheists and are feeling very alone. Many of you readers are the only atheist family you know and are struggling with how to parent and don’t have anyone to talk to. The comments I read always make me feel frustrated – there really are a lot of us out there but we haven’t figured out yet how to form a cohesive group without getting churchy about it. :) I am glad that this site has made some of you feel less alone and I am always happy to hear from you.
This book is a great read and an excellent resource for those of you who are new to secular parenting. It has a lot of funny/sweet anecdotes and some really practical advice from leading atheists on how to provide our kids with a sound foundation in secular life. One of the biggest misconceptions about raising atheist kids is that they will be immoral. (Despite unending evidence to the contrary- because who needs evidence when you’ve got yourself an opinion?!) This book is further proof that it is possible to raise ethical, kind, critical-thinkers who do the right thing for the right reason and show empathy towards their fellow human beings. It will make you laugh, it will make you think about what you’re doing as a parent and at the very least it will remind you that you are not alone. Not even close.
This WTF moment is brought to you by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints…
Ok, first, read this.
Here is my favourite part of the article:
“If a student prays and they think that the tight ‘formfitting’ clothing is accepted by the Lord, they have not asked, or have not asked the right question, or they have chosen an answer for their own gratification. I don’t believe the Lord would give approval to anyone to be disobedient to the CES Dress and Grooming Standards.”
Wow.
So let’s get this straight. You need to go and pray but if you don’t get the same answer I do then you’re either lying or you prayed wrong. (This is the same approach they apply to knowing whether or not the Book of Mormon, or the church for that matter, are true. Pray and if you get the right answer it’s true. If you get the wrong answer, you’re not deserving and you need to try harder.) Also, God is backing up the Rexburg dress code nazis because, hey, he’s not busy.
There are so many things I could say about this article. In some ways it made me laugh because it is just so ridiculous. It also makes me feel sad and angry. To me, this is exactly what comes from asking people to put critical thought up on the shelf and stop thinking for themselves. It’s scary and let’s be honest, it’s a fundamental building block of all religions. My husband went to BYU Idaho (formerly Rexburg College) and when he was there, part of the dress code was that they couldn’t wear shorts on campus. The only exception was the school issued gym strip that they had to wear whenever they worked out. Oddly enough, this gym strip included shorts..
One day hubby (Bri) decided to buck the rules (what a rebel!) and make the short (2 minute) walk from his dorm to the gym in his shorts. When he got there, the student behind the counter refused to give him his gym strip because he was wearing shorts. Bri pushed him and said “Let me get this straight, you’re not going to give me my shorts because I’m wearing shorts?” I think he assumed that when faced with how silly that was, the kid would just hand over the clothes. Nope…he still refused. Eventually, Bri stopped a guy who was also there getting his strip, asked if he could borrow his pants and then put the pants over the shorts right in front of the kid behind the counter. The kid promptly handed over the gym strip because Bri was now wearing pants. (Which he was about to remove and give back to their rightful owner and then change into another pair of shorts. You couldn’t even make this shot up it’s so crazy.)
Another interesting sidenote to this article is that BYU Idaho and the main BYU campus in Provo, Utah have different dress codes. So the Lord is cool with certain items of clothing in Utah, but not in Idaho. It doesn’t take a genius to stop and think about that for a moment and realize something is fishy. It does however take someone who isn’t afraid to think their own thoughts, and there’s the rub.
In Defense of Polygamy
Today, a Canadian court upheld our anti-polygamy laws, in a case I have been following pretty closely. This case centers around the polygamous group living in Bountiful, British Columbia specifically and the law has been used to try and protect young women from being forced to marry. Now obviously, I think Bountiful and everything it stands for is sick, twisted and wrong. These young girls are born and raised in a sexist and abusive culture and have very little say in who they marry. Being wife number 6 to a 79-year-old man while still in your teens is wrong by anybody’s standards (well, I guess not everyone…yeah, I’m talking to you Warren Jeffs) and by no means do I support what those crazy Mormons are doing. (On a sidenote/rant: It drives me crazy to hear the rhetoric that the Mormon church and its members are using in order to distance themselves from all this muck. Do you know how many times I’ve heard people say “They aren’t Mormon!” or deny that they are a break-off from the Mormon church? This is what Mormonism looked like 100 years ago folks, deal with it. Ahh, that feels better.)
However, I don’t know that I’m really opposed to polygamy so much. I guess this is where some of my more libertarian views come crashing into my socially democratic ones. I don’t like the government telling people who they can and can’t be with. I’m a big supporter of gay marriage and straight marriage and any other kind of marriage provided everyone within said marriage is an adult and is happy to be there. I’ve looked into this a little and it turns out there is a whole community of people living in polyamorous relationships and they don’t look anything like they do in the cults/compounds of BC. There are women living with two husbands, men living with more than one wife…every configuration you can imagine (and I’m sure a few you can’t). They aren’t hurting anyone and if they want to have two husbands God help them that’s their choice.
Surely there are already laws in place to protect adult men from marrying under-aged girls several times over. I mean, really. If not then there should be. I’m just not sure that it should ban polygamy outright. There are days when a sister-wife would come in pretty handy.
Atheist Mom Gets A New House
While all the other Mothers of the world are lamenting the departure of daylight savings time, I am rejoicing it. Because, here I am! Forced to get up early with the baby while Paisley remains asleep. A teething ring, a spoon and a butterfly on the floor are enough to occupy Declan while I sit near him with my laptop. The fact that I have not been writing (asides from the occasional grocery list, which does not count) has been driving me nuts. Writing has been a part of who I am for as long as I can remember and I always start to feel a sense of cognitive dissonance when I abandon that part of me for too long.
So, here is a long overdue update. Declan is good and growing like a weed. He is 6 months already, can we believe it?
Paisley is funny and clever and never stops talking. Like, ever. She may be part of the reason I can’t seem to grab even 20 minutes during the day to write (and let’s be honest, when I do manage to grab some quiet time I usually try to spend it horizontally. And not in a fun way. In a sleeping way. I am exhausted lately.) but she’s worth every draining second.
When I’m in a mood to allow it, these two bring me pure joy.
The big news for our family is that we moved.! We left the big city to go to a small little town. We’re still close to Calgary (I can make it to Ikea in 25 minutes…whew!) but not immersed in it. The decision to leave all happened very quickly and was a real whirlwind. We had been trying to find a way to get out of the situation we were in (hubby was commuting 1 hour each way downtown and working at a big law firm with a billable hours target and a lot of pressure. In short, it sucked and it was bad for him and our marriage) and then all of a sudden, like life is prone to do, an opportunity arose. We had to decide quickly to take it or leave it and so after a few short meetings and a tearful drive to Calgary we took the plunge.
I was sad at first at the idea of leaving the city and of course, all of my friends. I also knew that my family had to be the priority and that this move would benefit all of us eventually. We listed our house, bought our new house, and made the move all in the span of two months. Considering we had a new baby and it all happened so quickly, the move went pretty well and because we left the city we were able to get more house for our money.
Fast forward to today: my husband works three minutes from the house and as an independent practitioner (no boss! Other than me that is) along with two senior lawyers. We have a bigger house that we love more than the old one and Paisley has started preschool out here. We are starting to make friends (it sure takes some time when you’re all grown up) and feel settled and while we aren’t quite there yet, I just know we are going to love it here. Oh, did I mention my parents live here too? What a bonus that has been – we used to see them once every week or two and now we see them nearly every day. It’s nice to be able to have a quick visit and pop in for a cup of tea. It has changed the dynamics of the relationship and I love that the kids will have their grandparents be such a fixture in their day to day lives.
Now, all I need to do is figure out my schedule enough that I can get back to blogging. Sigh.
Swamped
All my life I have been a very organized person. My husband always laughs about how he used to watch me (this is before he knew me) pull out 8 different coloured pens, two highlighters and a ruler just to take notes in class in University. I remember that too…I also remember leaving a class one day after realizing I hadn’t brought a ruler. The mere idea of an entire day’s worth of notes with crooked lines was too much for me. Okay, so maybe organized is the wrong word. Completely insane?
The point is, that despite my good time-management skills, I am struggling these days to sit down at the computer. I am enjoying having a new baby and my life otherwise is running smoothly but what I still can’t seem to do is find an hour of quiet time to myself during the day. And let’s be honest, if that doesn for some reason present itself, I use it to take a nap. So, my blog is suffering and I know it.
I miss writing and I miss the feeling of community I’ve always felt with this particular project. The only good thing is that a lot of my readers (Hi dear reader!) are Moms too and I’m hoping you’ll cut me some slack? Or at the very least give me some ideas? Baby is up between 6:00 and 6:30am (after eating a couple of times still through the night) and daughter is up at 7:00am which is why I am writing this now. I found a tiny sliver of time this morning and I grabbed a hold of it. Maybe that’s what I’ll have to do until things get a little better.
(Also – this baby loves me. A LOT. A lot more than his sister ever did and if I’m awake, he thinks I should be holding him or at the very least, talking with him. As I sit here writing this he is yelling at me to pick him up. It’s like he thinks I’m his mother or something.)
Hypocrisy is the Greatest Luxury (Raise the Double Standard!)
(The title of this post comes from a band I used to listen to in Junior High when I was pseudo-angry and really cutting edge but still deeply nerdy. They’re actually worth a listen if you can stand academic rap. )
In the past I have called for fellow Atheists to come out of the closet. Richard Dawkins is leading the charge to encourage non-believers to stop hiding behind the term “agnostic” and tell the people they work with, live with and love that they are Atheists. I believe strongly in this principle and know that it is the surest way to gain acceptance and end the ignorance that so often accompanies the “A word”.
And yet (this is where the hypocrisy comes in) I haven’t done the same in my own life. Now don’t get me wrong, everyone who knows me knows I’m an Atheist. My family, all my friends and anyone who ever happens to bring up the subject of religion within a 10 mile radius of me, all know how I feel. (Although I have learned to be a little less psycho militant about it as I’ve gotten older. It doesn’t exactly endear you to people.) On this blog however, I have remained anonymous and it has been nagging at me for ages.
There were several reasons why I chose not to use my name and simply go with Atheist Mom. It provides me with a sense of freedom to write about whatever and whomever I choose without the fear of repercussion. Mostly, I was concerned that my in-laws might be offended by what I have to say about their cult religion. My husband also has a completely irrational fear that I would be endangering our kids by posting their pictures online next to the word “Atheist”. Irrational but not crazy. So, we’ve reached a compromise – I will post our pictures but not our last name. Is that still wimping out? It’s a tough one – I want to introduce you to my family and my life but I also want to protect them and my husband is a pretty private guy. I’m trying to remain true to my ideals without pissing off the man I love.
So, there I am – up in the right-hand corner. Atheist Mom…also known as Caroline.
And here are my adorable babes:
Hiatus
Sheesh, you would think I fell of the planet, or died or had a baby or something. Oh right, I did. Have a baby that is. :) Sorry for my absenteeism folks – been a little busy. So here is the story in a nutshell:
On April 23rd (much later than the doctor had ever thought I would make it) I had a baby boy weighing 6lbs 12oz. (Am I the only one who thinks it’s weird that we announce a baby’s weight. I mean the range is so small really. If the baby is 12 lbs and you pushed it out of your vagina, hey, scream it to the world. But if it’s a normal size baby then it doesn’t really mean anything, does it?) He was born by c-section just before 11am and he is perfect.
Or he was, until he came down with sepsis (a blood infection) and spent the next nest 8 days in the NICU. It was a long, taxing, exhausting and desperate week. I cried every morning because I was leaving my daughter at home and cried every night because I had to leave my son at the hospital. (I know there are parents who do this for much longer than I had to and to be honest I don’t know how they do it. I guess, you just do it. ) My poor daughter, who had been dying to meet her new baby for months and months, developed an infection herself just days after he was born and was barred from visiting the NICU. Poor kid. All in all, it sucked but little guy pulled through and despite many needles, a central line, IV’s, a lumbar puncture and a shaved head (all that cute baby fuzz – gone), he came home and is doing really well.
So, now we are living the normal life of a family with a newborn. I’m tired and a bit frazzled but head over heels in love. I keep thinking of things to post and then I just can’t find the time. I started this post at least three times before it actually got finished and published and the days are quickly turning into weeks. Rest assured, I have not forgotten you and Atheist Mom is still alive and well functioning.
How do you explain immersion in olive oil!?
Yesterday our close friends baptised their baby in the Greek Orthodox church. We happen to know that the Dad is an atheist and the Mom, well, she may believe in God but I would hardly call her religious (let alone orthodox). Like many cultures, religion and family are intimately tied together and these celebrations are opportunities to do just that – celebrate. The ceremony was held at the same church where we attended our friends’ wedding – where he (a red-haired Scot) was officially baptised into the Greek Orthodox religion and partook in all kinds of weird ceremonial dress and dance to do it. It was a total blast to watch – nobody could help but draw parallels between what we were witnessing and the movie “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”.
Our daughter had never been to a church before and was full of awe, confusion and questions about what on earth was going on. In hindsight I maybe should have prepped her about what we were about to see but to be honest, I was more focused on the ouzo-infused after party than the event itself. As we sat in the hot and ornately decorated church (the walls are covered in gold, stained glass, pictures of haloed saints, complex imagery and oh, did I mention gold?), she asked me “Why is that man singing? What are they putting on the boy’s head? Why are they putting oil on his head? Why are there candles? Why do I have to be quiet? Why is the boy wearing that hat?” I am afraid I didn’t have many good answers for her. I couldn’t explain those things to an adult, let alone a three-year-old.
I explained that this was a church and that some people believe in God and they go to church. She knows that we don’t believe in God – that’s about as far as the conversation has gotten. When she asked me “Why do some people believe in God?” I sat there, baffled for a minute. “Because it makes them feel good honey. Just like you have pink blanky.”
She was happy with that and I realized, some of the tough questions really can be answered that simply.
Religion is Weird: Exhibit A
A Hindu devotee prepares to walk on a pit of burning coals during a fire-walking ceremony held to honour the Hindu goddess Draupadi in Durban.
Goodbye Religion?
I’ll try not to spew venom about the irony that this article is found on CNN’s “Belief Blog” because the article itself contains such good news. Provided it actually happens. And spreads like a plague.
Japan
After the news this morning about the horrendous earthquake and tsunami in Japan I can’t help but think about the people there and what they must be going through. I have visited Japan twice and absolutely loved it. It’s one of those places I could go to again and again (and often do, only these days it’s in my own imagination. Sigh.) I found the videos coming out of Japan so telling and reflective of the people and way of life there. People were calm and orderly. There was not a lot of screaming or crying. For the most part they evacuated as they had practiced doing a hundred times before, made sure the people they were with were safe and waited for further information/instruction.
I can’t help but attribute at least some of this to the fact that Japan is a secular nation. I understand that there are many cultural reasons why this is true but even those cultural reasons are shaped by a secular history. Nobody was running around screaming that God was punishing them or that Armageddon was upon them. Nobody will be holding placards urging fellow citizens to repent come tomorrow morning. They will not pray for deliverance – they will, as a nation, brush themselves off and get to work. They will use science and technology to analyze what happened and make preparations for a similar disaster down the road. They will re-build and they will mourn those who were lost. But they will not wonder what they did to “deserve” such suffering. They will not point fingers and find fault with atheists, lesbians or intellectuals. They know the only “fault” is the one that runs directly beneath their island and they will treat it as the natural reality that it is.
40 Weeks?
From the very beginning of this pregnancy I have been told by doctors that I will go into preterm labour. I have a bicornuate uterus, diabetes and a history of preterm labour (35.5 weeks) with my daughter. Here I am at 33 weeks and so far, nothing. Which is a good thing I know but I really hadn’t prepared mentally for much beyond 36 weeks. Everything is going so smoothly, I feel wonderful, I’ve managed to keep the weight gain to a reasonable amount and baby is as healthy as can be. For some reason I have a horrible feeling I am going to see April and then even mid-April while still sporting a giant belly. Isn’t that just the way?
My daughter who just turned three at the end of January is getting very excited to meet her little brother (did I tell you it was a boy? It’s a boy!) She tells me all the time about all the things she is going to do with him:
“I’m going to teach him how to eat. He can’t eat though because he doesn’t have teeth. I have teeth. That’s why I can talk. I like to talk. I am going to teach my baby brother how to talk. I am going to take him on a walk and show him the park and he can go on the swings with me. He’ll like that. I can hold him and carry him and I’m going to tickle him and make him laugh. Then we can have lunch and we can play airplane. I’m going to teach my brother how to dance and how to run and put your finger in someone’s eyes. People don’t like that. You shouldn’t do that. I will say ‘No baby! Don’t do that!’ I’m going to be a big sister because I’m so big now.” And so on, and so on, and so on.
If I believed in karma I would say I’m being punished for being such a chatterbox as a kid but I’ll just blame it on genetics. :)
A Medical Miracle
We received a frantic phone call on Friday night from my MIL informing us that my little BIL (who is serving his mission in Arizona) “blew out his knee” and might have to be released from his missionary duties in order to come home and recuperate. She was upset for a few reasons; she is a mother and of course, she wasn’t able to speak to her son directly, she was surprised and didn’t have all the information she wanted and above all, she was upset about his mission experience being jeopardized. My BIL is loving his mission experience so far and part of the appeal for missionaries and their families is that it is such a long stretch. Two years is a long time to do anything consistently. It is a long time to not see loved ones, only talk to them on the phone 4 times and to commit yourself as a servant of the Lord. Doing the time is part of what makes it such a huge deal, so cutting it in half would have been very upsetting for everyone involved.
My MIL wasn’t totally sure what had happened but was told by the missionary President’s wife (who apparently is responsible for keeping other Mother’s informed of their kid’s accidents/injuries etc.) that they would call back on Monday with more information. There was much concern and worry and discussion about what this would mean.
We called today only to be referred to an email that she had forwarded to us. Basically, my BIL is the proud recipient of a genuine miracle of God. You can only imagine my frustration upon hearing his version of events. He hurt his knee playing soccer and knew right away it was bad. They took him to a doctor who felt it and told him that he thought he may have torn his MCL and to stay off of it for the next few days until he could get an MRI. The bishop came and did a blessing on BIL’s knee. The pain did not subside and it was still pretty bad. On Monday the Bishop came and did another blessing after which my BIL’s knee started to feel a bit better. At the very least, he felt better. When they got the results back from the MRI it showed a small tear in the MCL but there is no need for surgery and his mission won’t be affected. I could hardly stomach reading the email as he launched into his testimony and assurances that he has re-committed himself with even more fervor into bringing the Gospel to the people and that he knows this and that is true and how blessed he is to have been a witness to the glory and power of God’s miraculous love. Blah, blah, blah.
Here is what I would like to say but will not:
1. Your first doctor? Yeah, he misdiagnosed your knee. Not difficult to do when you’re just feeling around someone’s inflamed joint.
2. If the blessing was so effective, why did it take two of them?
3. Maybe the looseness that you attribute to a torn ligament was just loose ligaments that tightened up after you followed the doctor’s suggestions to ice and rest your knee.
4. And perhaps my biggest complaint with all claims of miraculous healing…who do you think you are?! Let me get this straight. This omnipotent and benevolent God who has the power to heal the sick and dying skips over the truly needy only to fix your knee? While you were receiving a priesthood blessing in Arizona, countless women were cradling dying infants and children in their arms, begging and pleading for their lives. Terminally ill people begged for mercy. Innocent babies lay in the dirt, listless from starvation and dehydration. By morning, thousands of people have died painful, agonizing and wholly undeserved deaths but God fixed your knee. Are you kidding me? This to me is the height of egotism.
I thought about saying something but this boy has drunk bathed in the kool-aid and is now handing out free samples, so he’s beyond reasonable debate at this point.
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